Depression
Just need advice i guess on what mental disorder i do have. I've suffered since childhood with periodic episodes of feeling unworthy of anything good. As an adult, i still get those feelings along with im indecisive, cant make a decision and stick to it. All my relationships have suffered from this, one day im happy and ok, the next im bored, down, dont know what i want. Then, i will find a way to mess things up, telling myself hey this isnt what you want and usually what i do is start drinking. I dont drink everyday and sometimes i can just have a couple and relax but other times, i get started and want stop, i sometimes become angry, feeling as though i have alot of anger inside and lash out at anybody especially the man i love. Then after ive caused us this trouble, feel even more worthless, guilty, and scared to death of losing him. Hes good to me and stands by me but we both deserve better. Ive been told to just not drink but i will say im not drinking anymore for a while but then i get this feeling of not being happy and bored and i throw everything that means anything to me out. I keep repeating the same pattern over and over. Ive been to counseling and was diagnosed with dysthymia associated with anxiety which is depression that comes and goes for no reason. Ive been on several medications but none have worked. I just want to be happy and im not a happy person. Im tired of hurting other people and myself. I want to stop feeling this way one day and that way another, making a decision today because its what i think i want and changing my mind the next day only to realize i messed up again. I dont know what mental disorder ive got but i know ive got something wrong. Any advice will b greatly appreciated. I do have an appointment to see a counselor next month.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie on -
Dear jenny,
I am so sorry you must suffer with these feelings. I know how frustrating it can be to want to be happy and for some reason can't. My daughter suffers from Bi-polar disorder and she oftens says many of the same things. That is said not meaning you may suffer from the same disorder, just that feelings of unhappiness, unworthiness, confusing, anger are all symptoms. It could be simply a chemical imbalance in your system or the result of some experience that you haven't dealt with yet, it could be a genetic pre-disposition. You should go to a qualified medical professional, be it MD or PHd and have a complete work-up including a physical, blood work, particular hormones and thyroid levels. If all comes back normal then seek the counsel of a specialist in depression. Measure what they say carefully and note their recommendations. Visit a few before you choose one to treat you. They should be compassionate and caring and that should be evident from the start.
There are also lay support groups that can lend support and a listening ear in times of distress. Reach out to those who can offer help and particularly don't feel ashamed that you are experiencing these feelings. Feelings are without judgement and are only indicators to the road to happiness. Sometimes expressing negative feelings to a safe and loving confident can relieve the burden.
One last word about nutrition......research indicates that trace minerals play a significant role in regulating our biological system, particularly nerve pathways, emotional pathways, appetite, energy production and muscle use. You might consider eating a very healthy diet and supplementing with trace minerals. Also, remember, many emotional disorder are genetic. Find out if there have been others in your family who have also suffered from these feelings. You may be surprised. When my daughter was first diagnosed I discovered that the family secret was more than 1/3 of my extended family also had the same disorder. It was the giant elephant in the basement that everyone knew about but never mentioned. Good luck and be blessed, the angels are on your side!
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Permalink Reply by booklet on
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Sometime I blame the food we eat to cause depression.What we eat can also affect our emotion. I think people who drink diet soda that contain aspartame can cause emotion problem. Couple with the food that does not contain enough nutrient to help the body to fight stress. Food that are not organic lack the nutrient found in organic food.
Other factor for depression is negative thinking.I am not trying to convert anybody to religion, but belief in God can be helpful.There are research that shows people who believe in God are more happy.
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Permalink Reply by Corinna Evrard on -
I'm really sorry to hear this. Many members of my family have suffered the same way. Some of it has to do with a lack of nurturing and acceptance as children. Some of it I do believe has a physical basis. Many of the chemicals in our food, as Kevin Trudeau is quick to point out, mimic drugs. Highly refined sugars and flours don't help. I personally believe that all of the radio waves and micro waves in our surroundings are effecting people, especially those who are sensitive. At this time in history, bees, birds, whales, and bats are being impacted in horrific fashion. We, too, are animals trying to survive in a world that is far from natural any more! Have you tried keeping a journal to see if there is any timing/cyclical nature to your problems? Does it correspond at all to your cycle, or to the natural cycles? I know that turning the TV and Radio OFF for a while each day helps me to regain my equilibrium! Some members of my family have suffered, and I don't think that a lot of psychiatric drugs are the answer. A type of therapy akin to hypnosis called EMDR (using eye movement) has helped me cope with the emotional by-product of chronic pain, and helped me relax.
Drinking 8 herb Essiac Tea has helped me a lot, as well.
God Bless you for reaching out,
Corinna
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Permalink Reply by Jenny on -
I just want to say thank you to everyone that has responded to my discussion. I am taking all the advice i can get. I have made a doctors appointment for a complete physical including blood work to be done on my hormone and thyroid levels. Somehow, i will get to the bottom of this.
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Permalink Reply by Bonnie on
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Jenny, I am with you. Along your search, feel free to email me directly. I am a good listener. Stay strong, remember, each ostacle put in our path is an opportunity to grow, and there is always pain associated with growth. I've asked myself from time to time, "Why Me," and a very good friend answered that question for me by saying....because you can handle it. So I will say the same to you.........You can handle it. Good luck and my prayers are for you. Bonnie
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Permalink Reply by beyondcure on -
Dear Jenny,
I feel for you as I am pretty in similar position except I don't drink excessively. I had inferiority complex as a child and never ever seemed to do things right all my life. Now my husband has left me and I am totally lost and down. I really hope whatever you do, things will work out.
When I read your note, I really hope your partner will always love you.
Take care.
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Permalink Reply by KnowNow on -
You might could try Bach remedy Cerato:
...is the remedy for people who lack faith in their own judgement. Faced with the need to make a decision they are not like the Scleranthus people who hesitate and cannot make up their minds, because they can come to a decision without too much trouble. But having done so the doubts creep in and they are no longer sure if what they have decided is right. They then go around asking for the opinions and advice of others. They end up hopelessly confused or doing something that they know in their hearts is not right for them.
Cerato is the remedy to give people in this state more faith in their judgement so that they can listen to their inner voices and trust their intuition.
You could also try "EFT" or the techniques used in tapping the healer within.
For you drinking problem Kudzu, B1, Milk thistle, and alpha lipoic should help. Over drinking is a sugar motabalizim problem, which effects the way the liver works. Do a candida cleanse and drink a cup of thyme tea each morning to help cleanse the system.
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