keeping anger in
I really am just curious as to people's opinions on whether it is better to let anger out or hold it in. In other words, do people feel better when they state was is on their mind, or when they take people to task if they disagree with them? I'm talking about mental health and how it can manifest itself physically. And also if letting your anger or opinion being know via cyber space is easier than in person and would it have the same results.
I apologize if I didn't word this clearly.
I apologize if I didn't word this clearly.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Harley Girl on -
Okay John, you almost had spew my water all over the computer screen I laughed so hard at your last sentence. And for the million dollar question, am I a real Harley girl? I can tell you that I ride a Harley, and have for many years, I also wrench my own bike, and put about 10,000 miles a year on it - which is pretty good considering half the year where I live the ground is covered in snow. Does that make me a real Harley girl, I don't know, but it sure does make me live and love motorcycles. So I guess you can just call me a motorcycle enthusiast.
And hmmm, biting your tongue. I've never mastered that skill, and have often regretted what I've said, but for the short few seconds after I say it, I feel better, but only for a moment. Religion and politics are hot topics for sure. I enjoy the discussions centred (can you tell I'm Canadian by my spelling?) around them and how passionate people are about their views.
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Permalink Reply by Shannon on -
I do not really believe in keeping anger in completely. However, it is usually unwise to just vent in the moment. You often end up saying things that you wished you hadn't and then regret it and that is not good either. I think that when something happens that provokes a person to be angry, they should step back, take a breather and evaluate the situation for what it really is. After this step, you may realize it isn't a big deal and just let it go. However, if something is really bothering you still (perhaps something that someone said to you) then you should go talk about it, in a civil manner. If you hold it in then you will probably end up resentful of the person that upset you and you could be forgoing a good opportunity to hash things out and improve a situation. Or perhaps it was all a misunderstanding - if you end up talking it out then you will avoid filing things away against a person for no good reason. Sometimes you just can't agree with people on things, and that is okay. Everyone is different and has different opinions and that is a good thing. But if you can get to the point where you can at least see where they are coming from then it makes it easier to respect differences and move on. And if you are just still really angry, you can always go punch something (preferably something soft!) and get it out that way. Just my opinion. :)
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Permalink Reply by Victoria on -
If you must bite your tounge and hold it in, then the next best thing is to let it all out with a friend--good friends will sit and listen to you rat and rave about something !!! I do think you feel better to let it all out--holding anger in is not good--of course you do not want to get into trouble either so that is what the friends are for. Then there are times that if you just think on it for a while and write it down on paper and then read it back, it might just sound rather silly--like making mountains out of mole hills.Guess it depends on how strongly you feel about something. Very good question though
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Permalink Reply by Harley Girl on
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Good points. I think what also sometimes irritates me is that I have to "dance" around female emotions. I find that when I tell it like it is to a man, it's usually no problem, end of story. Yet with women (in general) it turns into drawn out thing. I like the idea of writing it down and then reading it back. Excellent point on trying to see where someone is coming from. I think that is one of the biggest issues, people don't really care about other people's opinions and don't care where they are coming from. They just want their opinion to be heard.
John - - Nope, bought it if off some guy I knew. I WISH I could afford one from a dealer.
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Permalink Reply by Orneryswife on -
I was recently in a meeting where the speaker discussed this very thing. Holding anger in is a very hazardous health risk. It can cause numerous health issues, including fibromyalgia and other joint diseases, as well as blood problems. It is normal to feel anger, but it is not good to keep it in, nor is it good to sleep when you are angry. The best way to deal with it is to figure out what is causing your violent reaction to the other person. Then, speak frankly with them-- "when you do this, I feel this." They have the option then of choosing whether to change their behavior or not, and if they choose not to change it, then you have the option of choosing whether or not to continue in whatever relationship they are in with you.
Venting, as in blasting someone who offends you, isn't very good for you either. This can cause feelings of guilt, which also are unhealthy, as well as damage relationships. Nor is it a good idea to vent to someone who is not involved in the situation. That is gossip and usually backfires, causing you lots of challenging messes to clean up. Assertive communication is the safest and healthiest way to communicate to the person who has angered you. After you have said your piece, spend some time concentrating on relaxing and letting the anger go. Meditation, exercise, or some other form of relaxation technique helps with this. Also, it is important to forgive them, as unforgiveness leads to bitterness, which is VERY unhealthy!
If you are just in disagreement with another person as opposed to them actually doing something offensive to you, it is best to just allow them to have their own opinion and not confront them on it. As long as they don't force their opinions on you, and expect you to assume their position on the topic, it really shouldn't bother you that you don't agree--everyone is entitled to their own opinions!
Hope that helps.
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Permalink Reply by booklet on
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I saw one advise on tv. If you are angry you can release by screaming in the pillow. That way nobody can hear it. My two cent.
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