My marriage is falling apart over natural crap or so my hubby calls it!
Our daughter Jazzy is 8 and got sick with flu starting saturday. She had fever and stomache. She threw up twice, her temp was up that night so my hubby looked up natural remedies and showd me that garlic paste would do the trick. But we looked more and found egg whites soaked with washcloth would work to draw faster. So i tried that, but after an hour, it was just too sticky I took it off and tried garlic paste. The remedy said to leave it on overnight. But in middle of the night my daughter removed them and in the morning I decided to try something else, minced onion to her soles. Of course health food store was closed on Sunday. Later that late afternoon Jazzy tried to walk to bathroom but was in pain. So I removed onions from her feet and was shocked to see HUGE blister on side of her inside foot! I immediately put her in bath to remove any odors from onions and got my hubby to take a look at it. He looked up online to see what it was and what caused it. He posted pic on facebook for everybody to see. I had no idea he did that until late that night. He looked up again and learned that garlic could change into acid and cause third degree burn. It advised to go to hospital immediately. So I felt it was out of my hands and agreed that he could take her to ER. The doctor drained out her blister and cut off outer layer off her skin. Wrapped with silverado cream on gauze and bandage. He also diagnoed Jazzy for viral syndrome and recommended Tylenol for fever. He also gave antibotics if we needed it in case infection occurs since my hubby told dr that I don't like giving medicines. Before they came home from ER, I found out he posted pic on facebook and that everybody got worried sick. I laid off facebook for 4 days to avoid pressure. But my hubby still gave me pressure to give them Tylenol but I refused. Mild fevers was something I could manage with. He was so worried about kids and so were I. Monday morning our young son Jack got sick with fever too. As I said the health food store was closed on Sunday, so my hubby could only wait til after work Monday night to pick up natural medicine from HFS. I started giving them doses without missing one since then. They're starting to feel a lot better now. But today I went on facebook and was shocked that my hubby begged everybody to convince me to give them TYlenol. And everybody was on his side, nobody was on my side! Everybody were worried sick about our kids, that I can understand. My hubby and I fought over text messaging and I told him how humiliated and betrayed I felt. He didn't sound bit sorry for that! He said he's tired of me being unreasonable and playing russian roulettes on our kids. He said they could have got worse and then it'd be too late for them to be treated. We're fighting over this. What am I supposed to do? He said he don't belive in natural crap anymore. He said I was trying to KILL our kids. He said if I gave them Tylenol in the first place, this awful thing would never have happened. Of course I felt horrible since the night of ER , but we learned from our mistake and move on. Right? But I am so depressed right now between my hubby and me. What am I supposed to do? He said I hurt them by doing it natural way. He said they needed real medicine. Sighs. How do marriage work like this??? I don't want this to end up in divorce. I repeatedly encouraged him to research more and more for the sake of our kids. I'd hate to see him treat them his ways. I stopped vaxxing them 3 years ago and he still thinks I'm unreasonable on that! HELP please?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Will on -
Hi. I dont kno how helpful i can be in your situation here but i feel like i should throw in my 2cents anyway. 1st i believe that your husband is overreacting and i think he went to far with some of the things you mentioned above. Your both of corse worried about and care about your children(like any good parents would be.) Your both trying to do whats best and are at odds with what that might be. Trust me im not ah know it all lol and neither is your husband,you,or any medical doctor,or alternative doctor. With that said FACTS ARE FACTS reguardless of what you,yourhusband,me or anyone else thinks about it. Its been a PROVEN FACT time and time again that natural and alternative remedies are safer and more effective. Again im not a know it all i just felt compelled to respond. All the best to you and your family.
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Permalink Reply by booklet on
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Should do the treatment under a doctor who very knowledge in natural treatment.
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Permalink Reply by Karen on -
Hi Renee,
I did the garlic on the soles of the feet once overnight, but i put them into an unused empty teabag first and then strapped it on. I didn't get any blisters.
I like Booklets advice. Maybe a good naturopath?
Its hard to see your kids in pain, so I understand the emotions you and your husband are going through. You want them better right away. A lot of the older family GP's used to prescribe just broth (made from bones and veggie stock) or honegar, or other foods almost instantly digestible, and then let the fever run its course. It will strengthen your kids immune system in the long run. To suppress it with tylenols and other drugs will only weaken your kids immune system and they will be more susceptible to disease as a result.
Stay strong, and do some more research. www.westonaprice.org has lots of info for raising healthy kids.
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Permalink Reply by Christa on -
Sounds to me like your husband completely overreacted. Kids get sick, it's not an 'awful thing' and tylenol won't save them or prevent anything from happening, it's just a pain reliever. Whatever happened to oh well, they've got a 24 hour bug, they'll be fine in a day or so? You and your husband both need to think about letting a MINOR illness such as this run it's course before trying all sorts of things... My parents would let my fever be 105 for two weeks before resorting to the ER (not saying this is a great idea, just saying that they knew when something was serious and when it wasn't). Chicken/veggie soup and orange juice help you feel better and won't cause any side effects. It sounds like you both need to calm down and realize that kids get sick and you don't have to panic and try to cure them immediately! Like Will said, I'm not a know it all, I just hate to see people stress out for no reason!
Also, look into getting a couple of books about this kind of thing. I reccomend How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor by Robert Medehlson and 10 Essential Herbs by Lalitha Thomas.
Oh, and the whole facebook thing, that has nothing to do with natural health. That's your husband having no respect for you and betraying the trust of your marriage. Let him know that's not okay... I don't know what kind of person you are as far as personality goes, but I would be LIVID.
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Permalink Reply by Renee on -
Thanks for the book suggestions. I am nearly blind myself so I have to find large print or wait until I am able to afford a reading magnifyer that shows up on TV screen. It is so hard for me to read nowadays since there are mostly fine blue fonts. I try to zoom in as much as I can to read but it's not fun to sit at computer reading slow and is not healthy for my bad back. Sighs
We have got house blessing at our new house this Saturday (2 more days) and I want kids to be well before then, otherwise my family won't come. They wouldn't want to catch whatever kids have! Their fevers have gone down early yesterday which is good. ALthough her dead flesh came off from her food wuond and there's a bit of dark circle around it. My hubby says it's redness and we started to give her antibotics. He said if her foot isn't looking any better this morning to take her to doctor! I told him to give antibotics some time to do it's job! How long does it usually take for antibotics to work it's way down to infected foot? He's upset that I didn't give her antibotics right after ER on Sunday. He said I waited too long. Sighs.
My hubby came home last night after work and said the kids are coughing off of their heads. He thinks I should take them to doctor. I have dressed them in shorts and tshirt when they have fever. I didn't want to overdress them. OR was I wrong to do that? The house was cold and kids were going around in shorts and tshirts so probably they got coughing started. Yikes.
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Permalink Reply by Christa on
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Coughing is a normal progression of an illness, your body's attempt at dispelling germs. No one ever died from coughing, unless it was whooping cough, and that, usually only small babies and the elderly. Just tell your husband to BREATHE. Keep the house normal temperature. If they're cold, up it. If your daughter MUST have antibiotics, give her some acidolphilus for kids too just so it won't throw her intestinal flora out of wack. It WILL do that, as pharmacies and companies are making antibiotics much much stronger these days in order to knock out bacterial strains that are adapting to survive the antibiotics.
I'm sure your kids will be fine by Saturday. If they're feeling good enough to be running around, they're already much better.
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Permalink Reply by Deni on -
I'm gonna agree w/Christa here.
And, also say, understand that your husband was only reacting out of fear.
He can not possibly believe you would do ANYthing to harm your children. And, if he does believe that, (sorry to say), he's probably not the man you should want to be married to.
I understand your situation. I too had much opposition when I refused 'conventional' medicine. What I did, is I educated myself, which gave me the confidence in what I was doing. Natural remedies are safer and more effective.
Show your husband your confidence. I think he'll back off, and eventually begin to support your ideas. After all, he loves them too.
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Permalink Reply by Deni on
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And by the way? When you refer to it as 'Natural crap', it sounds like you don't believe in it yourself, and if you don't believe in it, then he surely won't
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Permalink Reply by Renee on
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Deni,
My husband lost his faith in natural healing hence he called it natural crap. I am trying hard to build confidence, but I don't have any mentors. I am only one out on the battlefield, so I need more support.
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Permalink Reply by TimG on -
Renee:
I agree with Booklet. A good compromise is to find a family doctor that specializes in natural health care.
The problem with most of Western Society is that they've been brainwashed into thinking that drugs are what cures most ailments, which is completely false. It's what he's been taught by conventional doctors, TV & magazine advertising, etc. You need to balance the opinion with a expert in the field of natural health.
Further, having a natural health doctor will allow you to liaise on family treatment plans, rather than isolating yourself with books and people like us. ;)
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Permalink Reply by Renee on
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Yes, but I can't find any ND in phone book. I don't know if they take medicaid or how much they will charge. Are they expensive than MD??? I'm concerned about that too.
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Permalink Reply by TimG on
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Renee:
I have never in my life looked up a natural health doctor in a phone book (is that even possible?? LOL). You obviously have internet and (hopefully) some friends... have you thought to do a little online research or ask a few girlfriends?
I discovered mine originally by searching through naturalcures.com and then that person I contacted recommended a good local naturopathic doctor (she charges $50 a visit, which is pretty reasonable).
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