Women over 40
60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!
Replies to This Discussion
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![d2avid [ the 2 is silent but im not ]](http://api.ning.com/files/iOzAG1BByEmCj1jIEoEpxBvEt9NzTCxNlb05G5WV0Rs_/IMG_0132.JPG?width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1)
Permalink Reply by d2avid [ the 2 is silent but im not ] on -
The other day my daughter said 2 me...Pop,U r so slooow,U r the only person I know who takes an hour & a half 2 watch 60 minutes
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Permalink Reply by Olive on -
An entire pig , just to get a little sausage....ROFL....hahahahahahha.
Thanks Mel.....loved it : )
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Permalink Reply by Michael on -
Reasons why a Motorcycle is better than women
1. If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apoligize
before you can ride it again.
2. If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
3. If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
4. If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to
correct it.
5. If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
6. If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
7. If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
8. If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
9. It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
10. Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
11. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
12. Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
13. Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
14. Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
15. Motorcycles don't have parents.
16. Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
17. Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy
Motorcycle magazines.
18. Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
19. Motorcycles last longer.
20. Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
21. Motorcycles' curves never sag.
22. New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them,
you don't get them.
23. When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
24. You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
25. You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
26. You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
27. You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
28. You can ride a Motorcycles any time of the month.
29. You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
30. You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
31. You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
32. You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and
that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
33. You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your
Motorcycle.
34. You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
35. You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old
one is _really_ worn.
36. Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
37. Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump
it.
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