anyone with cancer

I am terrified no one will answer because no one is alive...I haven't seen a site, group, discussion, not even a topic on helping with this hideous disease. Please, please, right now I simple cannot handle well-meaning comments from people who 'had' a relative or 'knew' someone, I want to hear from those who HAVE it or know someone who is LIVING with it, any kind. I dont want to do this at all really, I want to run away and never come back, take a long walk off a short pier, blah blah blah. I shouldn't be sitting here screwing around on the computer, I need to DO SOMETHING for my husband, the love of my life, by BESTEST FRIEND...Oh, god, in the name our Your Son, help me. I don't even know what I need, what is it I am asking for...I am so lost. I know a great deal about nutrition and more about cancer than I EVER wanted to know, and am actually an RN. I have studied alterna/herbal/homeo etc, and want to practice Reiki, vibrational, all of it that can help him. I have been told I have healing hands, and if that is really true then I need to learn how to use them. I mostly need help with changing my thought patterns, my subconscious mind patterns of thought, anything and everything that affects him. Anyone want to talk?