Unhealthy Situation - Suggestions Please
I know this really is not a counseling website, but I have a situation that I view as something that is unhealthy both physically and mentally, and just wondering if anyone has any advice/suggestions or resources.
I have a great support system at home helping me to cope with the stress daily, but I am wearing that resource out, and it is more important to me to keep my personal life separate from my professional because in the end my job, boss and the company won't be there.
I am not happy with my job, and do not have any desire to return to work. I am stressed out everyday. I'm not going to bore you with the annoying details.
I am struggling with the fact that I want to quit, but cannot because I am the sole provider for myself and my significant other and have debt to take care of which requires an income of some sort.
I also do not want to start a new job with some other company because it seems that the stresses and strains never go away they just become new and different. Since I was 16yrs, am now 29yrs I have worked for someone else or the corporate world and it's just not for me.
I would really like to work for myself - wouldn't everyone, but struggle to make up my mind what I want to do and can I do it and what are trusted resources - I am just uneducated about this.
I appreciate any advice/suggestions you may have. Please share.
Sincerely,
Kori
I have a great support system at home helping me to cope with the stress daily, but I am wearing that resource out, and it is more important to me to keep my personal life separate from my professional because in the end my job, boss and the company won't be there.
I am not happy with my job, and do not have any desire to return to work. I am stressed out everyday. I'm not going to bore you with the annoying details.
I am struggling with the fact that I want to quit, but cannot because I am the sole provider for myself and my significant other and have debt to take care of which requires an income of some sort.
I also do not want to start a new job with some other company because it seems that the stresses and strains never go away they just become new and different. Since I was 16yrs, am now 29yrs I have worked for someone else or the corporate world and it's just not for me.
I would really like to work for myself - wouldn't everyone, but struggle to make up my mind what I want to do and can I do it and what are trusted resources - I am just uneducated about this.
I appreciate any advice/suggestions you may have. Please share.
Sincerely,
Kori
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kori on -
Thank you very much for the great advice. I appreciate you taking the time. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Kori on
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Thank you for the advice. I know this won't be an easy fix, but I am eager to get started.
Kori :-)
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Permalink Reply by Kori on
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Thank you! This is great advice. Also thank you for the suggested resources - it will be good to get out of the house for a bit today to go check them out!
Kori :-)
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Permalink Reply by christine on -
All good suggestions. I know this doesnt make it any better, but I am self employeed and it isnt all peaches and cream either. The stress will be with you no matter what, you just have to decide how to make your life happier. I love the suggestion from Melissa about writing everthing down and getting rid of the unhappy things. Makes sense. The secret is alos a GREAT suggestion. Awesome movie, I think I will watch it again tonite. We all need good positive things in our lives. Get rid of the negative, including negative shows, news, people, etc. We are here for ya!
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Permalink Reply by Kori on
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That's a good point that you make. It sounds like this is going to be a long road to venture down, but I know in my heart that I have to do something. Thank you for taking time to reply. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Larry Wilson on
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You may want to try running your own business from home. Start up costs in the one I am involved with are under 200.00. How much you earn is up to you, it is not a walk in the park, it takes consistant work to get it started, but can be very rewarding. Its something you start part time, and work toward quitting your job. Can take a month or two or a year or two, thats up to you.
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Permalink Reply by Kimberly on -
Kori,
You've come to the right place about your stress situation. STRESS can make you sick, so this conversation here is appropriate.
This story sounds way to similar to my story. I work for Federal Express. When i was working at Newark, I was so stressed out every day, under this one woman, who was not even my boss, made my life a living hell. I would tell the manager on her, and because my manager favored her, nothing was ever done to this lady.
I wanted to quit so badly, I felt horrible all the time. Even though i tried not to let it get to me which is what everyone said, it was impossible, because i waz dealing with this everyday. Even when i went home, i was upset. I coulden't shake it off. I dealt with this for 2 years!!!!!! I just wanted to leave, everyday I was there. I absolutely hated working there because of this woman, and later on my manager even started to get me stressed out.
I saw that there was a position opened in New york (15 min more away from newark) which offered me a better position, I took that chance to go, not because I nessesarily wanted to but because I knew the stress would eventually kill me. I do end up spending a few hundred more by the commute to new york, but i was willing to take it to get out of the situation i was in. Many people will tell you don't leave because someone is pushing you to go, you SHould leave not because of that, but because of your health. You will continue to remain depressed, if you don't seek out another job. I know it's hard, but keep looking. The lord says (if you believe in christ) "Steady plodding brings prosperity, hasty speculation brings poverty" Take yur time, and don't rush into jumping off the bridge, your time will come if the lord wills it.
Lastly my last point is, - I believe that the Lord wants you to be where you are. The only time he does not want you to be where you are is when He offers yu a way out. I strongly believe this. Sometimes we are in situations in life where we don't like, or want to be in, but that does not always mean you should quit altogether. Maybe God is trying to teach you a valuable lesson in patience, or maybe he wants you to be there to touch someone else's life at your job. I've always kept that in mind when i was in Newark. God must want me to be here, if he is not allowing me to find another job and get out of here. So I would continue to go to work, everyday despite my feelings, and knew that one day i would be out of there. I am much happier than I was before, but i stuck it through, because i knew i 'd be out soon. Hold on to that same hope, and wait for the right opportunity to get out of there.
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Permalink Reply by naturenut on -
Wow, Kimberly, very well said. Tori, I just want to say that sometimes it's not the situation but our attitude toward the situation that is the main problem. To explain, I recently went through a bad depression and one day was complaining to my mom about the kids, husband, house... Everything seemed impossible and undoable. She told me and I realized that it's not the kids or dogs or hubby....it's the ability to handle them that was wrong. I then understood and looked toward the real problem for a solution, being that I was depressed, stressed, irritable, and just couldn't handle the slightest bit of stress. I went to get a thyroid and hormone screening and started to re-fix my diet and take fish oils every day. The depression has lifted and I'm now much calmer and happier and looking forward to making future plans as I can think much more clearly. Many situations in life stink really bad but when we are in good health we can work on changing and finding a way out. Prayer is essential too, "Seek and you shall find, knock and it will be opened unto you". You can get passed this difficult, stressful time. We're all here to support you too.
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Permalink Reply by Kathi Kirschner on -
Kori;
WOW, that sounded like I wrote the post myself!!!!!!! I am in the same situation at work, won't bore you all with messy details either, but I HATE IT. I hate the job, dislike most of the people, and am starting to feel very badly about the company itself. It is a stressful environment, and going to a place where you don't want to be stresses me out every day.
When I wake up, I think, "OH NO, not this again!!!!!! Can I do it one more day?"
But you know what? I keep on doing it, because I have bills to pay, kids to feed, and so many responsibilities. I know it is killing me slowly, and I know I need to get out. So what am I doing about it?
I went back to school (on the company, no less!) and am diligently working my way towards a degree. I just received my Associates degree in 2 years (full time while working full time) and have 1 more year to go to get my Bachelor's degree. In the mean time, when I HATE IT, I tell myself to keep going.
I honestly think I am supposed to be here in this misery for a reason, and I am looking for that reason, while I am looking for another job!
I will not make a move unless I can continue with school and it pays the same or more, so it's taking a long time. However, I am hanging in there and will find something else soon, I know it.
My advice to you is similar to all of the others - get your act together healthwise - I can attest to the power of OMEGA 3's - they certainly do help depression or I would not still be here.
Then, figure it out - do you want to stay or do you want to go? You CAN get another job, and sometimes it IS better at other companies. It might be great for a year, but then not so great, but while you are in that great year you can study or go to school, or think of what you REALLY want to do.
Also, check out Oprah's list and find the latest book she is recommending about finding your life's work - I forget the name of it, but it's supposed to be awesome.
GOOD LUCK GIRL!!
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